I’ve often thought to myself “I’m meant to be alone. No husband for me.” It’s been heavy on my mind especially lately. I’ve never understood why for the most part either. I believe I’m a good woman. I work, I can cook, try to keep my house clean, good kids…….etc, etc. But today it hit me. For everything, I’ve been through, and unfortunately, it’s a lot, but for all I’ve been through I’m not sure if any of the men I’ve met thus far could handle it. I feel like I need someone to lean on but I don’t think anyone is strong enough to do so. Not to discredit anyone that has been in my life thus far but damn sometimes I feel like this life of mine is a constant struggle. I thank God for getting me through so far, don’t get me wrong. Or maybe I’m just not supposed to have anyone here. Maybe this is my destiny. Just maybe it’s for the strength of it all. Maybe the struggle is a testimony that will help others get through. As I get older it would be nice to say I understand completely but I don’t. I just keep trying to hang on. Giving up sometimes seems easier but I keep going. I pray for support and love in a spouse but it hasn’t been found. Maybe I messed a turn somewhere in my destiny and I need to turn back around. As frustrating as it is waiting, I’m still hoping. I pray that there is something that I meant to do alone and then afterward I can see the light. But until then I will keep pushing on. Trying to stay strong and trying to remain open to great possibilities.