Who Are You Without All Your Titles

Over the past year at least I’ve been on this journey to self-discovery. I discovered this during this pandemic. My gift to myself is to find myself again. Who am I? Not the mom, pharmacy tech, sister, daughter, etc. But who am I? I am slowly figuring this out now. Over the past 17 to 20 years I’ve been caught up in what I do or who I am to other people that I forgot who I am. For example, my oldest daughter will be 17 shortly so when I became a mother I felt like I had to put all the things I was interested in to the side. All in all, I’m a single mom of two teenage daughters. I’ve also been a pharmacy technician for the past 13 years. Those two things have defined me for a long time. Adding on top of that I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. But then I realize as most parents do, when their kids grow up, that I’m not sure of what my next move will be. After I raise my girls and they leave my household I will be lost. Of course, I will still be their mother and I will always be there for them, but as they mature and become independent I will no longer be needed as much. That makes me sad to tell the truth but proud of them as well. That being said I will have more time where it’s just me. When that time comes I want to be prepared and have a plan for my life. I think this is a good way to prevent depression during the empty nest syndrome. At least I’m hoping so.
Therefore, as I previously stated, I want to find myself again. Who am I when I’m alone and I’m looking in the mirror at myself? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What do I truly want my legacy to be? If for any reason someone would write my life story would it be a life to be proud of or will I have regret from missed opportunities?
So now I’m on a mission for my present and my future. To live in my purpose. I realize I can’t expect greatness from my children if I don’t live in my own greatness. Stepping out of my comfort zone has been scary but it has also felt right. Taking this time for self-reflection has made me love myself even more as well. So at this moment, I want to encourage you to find what makes you happy and what you feel like will fulfill your life. At that moment when your life flashes before your eyes will you be proud of yourself for being your full self. Will you know who you are and not just who you are to the people around you. Both are important but there is no greater love than being proud of yourself and truly knowing who you are.

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